I understand that we’re all passionate about safety. And at some point or another, most of us have had to deal with criticism from friends or family members who think we’ve taken this whole car safety thing too far and have just gone right off the deep end. Usually, we just brush off these ignorant remarks because deep in our hearts we know that we’re right and obviously they just don’t get it. We’re aware of the fact that MVC’s are a leading cause of death and injury to children in the US and we’re all determined to protect our children to the best of our abilities. That’s our job as parents and caregivers and we all take that responsibility very seriously. I understand that. I really do, because I’m right there with ya.
But how are we to know if we’ve really gone too far? Certainly our safety-conscious friends would never stage an intervention on our behalf. And our spouse would probably rather walk across hot coals than incur our wrath by suggesting that maybe, just maybe, we’re being a bit too extreme.
So, who’s gonna give it to ya straight and tell you when it’s time to chillax? Who’s gonna remind you that you can’t save the world and completely eradicate all injuries to children in MVCs – no matter how desperately you want to? Who’s gonna tell you when it’s time to step away from that vehicle in the Walmart parking lot because clearly you’re not dealing with an appreciative and open-mined victim? 😉
I will.
However, the first step to getting help is to admit that you have a problem. Don’t think you have a problem? Get in line. And while you’re there – take our short survey:
1. Do you find yourself repeatedly trying to talk your sister-in-law into buying a convertible with a 50 lb. rear-facing weight to rear-face your tiny 7-year-old niece who weighs 43 lbs.?
2. When you go grocery shopping do you spend 20 minutes thinking about the most appropriate way to secure those projectiles for the ride home?
3. Have you purchased more car seats for other people’s kids than you have for your own children?
4. Have you ever considered gluing sheets of EPS/EPP foam to the rear windows in a vehicle that doesn’t have side curtain airbags?
5. Do you lose sleep thinking about your neighbor’s child who is 5 and rides in a backless booster?
6. Do you respond “ABSOLUTELY”, when someone posts an online poll asking whether you would put a small, immature 13-year-old back into a 5-point harness?
7. Have you ever refused to ride the monorail at WDW because you considered it too risky?
8. Do you have anxiety attacks when you see a properly restrained, forward-facing 2-year-old?
9. Do you always remember to secure your purse with an available seat belt?
10. On Halloween, do you hand out copies of the 5-Step Test flyer instead of candy? (If you hand it out WITH candy – that doesn’t count as a yes.)
If you answered yes to more than 1 question above – please do yourself a favor and go volunteer some of your time at carseat check events in the lowest, low-income inner-city area you can find within driving distance. If you don’t have any inner-city areas within driving distance, then a rural, migrant farm worker community will suffice. All kidding aside, these are the types of places where your knowledge, passion and dedication to CPS are desperately needed. And seeing the frightening reality of how these children ride around every day will really help you to appreciate the beautiful sight of a properly restrained, albeit forward-facing, 2-year-old. Everything in life is relative and a healthy perspective will keep you focused on the bigger picture – and help you avoid going off the deep end in the process. 🙂
A high back booster saved my 12 year olds life. He is not on the growth chart and is under weight and under in height. he had life saving stomach surgery and had covid and now has heart damage. We were rear ended in our ford truck on the highway when were were at a total stop and flew forward not once but twice. My son was in the back seat of our ford 150 super crew. Thank god I refused because of his weight to take him out of a booster. His head hit the beam in the back inside the head rest. He had a bruise and whiplash even inside the booster seat. He has bursitis in his knees and hip from the force of how hard the girl hit us twice.( her car was totaled and went under our truck and ruined our heavy duty tow hitch which is not easy to do. If not in that seat I am afraid it would been worse. Problem is now a kid said something to him about his age in the seat. Is there a cushioned head rest I can put to protect his head if someone hits us again. He is now 100 pounds and but still sliding around in the back seat of we don’t use a booster. He is only 52 inches tall. Any solutions?
#8 only. My thoughts come across as “ossification of the neck vertebrae happens from 3-6 years”.
I switched my kids to a HBB at 5. The studies on older children in HBB vs FF harness led me to determine there was no benefit to harnesses for a child with maturity to sit properly. Although they still had weight in RF, they were not able to get in and out of seats without assistance. Considering countries with excellent records for child safety in car seats switch to FF with a booster at 5-6, I am comfortable with my decision.
#6–I will totally be keeping my tiny, extremely squirmy, currently 4.5 y/o in his harness until he hits the 85 lb weight limit, so at least until 13!
Hmm… does buying a new seat for your child and passing the old one down to another child count?
I sparkly heart Kecia. 🙂
Hilarious!! Yes, I taped foam to our car. This is a great blog!
The only one I came close to answering yes to was #5 so maybe I’m not as bad as I think! In this case, it is worrying about my almost 5 year-old (12 more days!) twin godchildren riding around in backless boosters now. They have a FR85 and an Argos but when their parents’ van had to be in the shop for bodywork, their mom used backless boosters in the rental car and I think she has been using them ever since. I told her I would be happy to help re-install the seats back in the van but that if she really wanted them in boosters, I asked that she at least let me check the belt fit on them and to at least use their current seats in booster mode rather than the backless boosters. I explained how the belt should fit, linked her to pictures of what the belt fit should look like, but have not heard back from her so I am now wondering if I should just give it up and let her do what she wants, as hard as it is for me!
If any techs are in need of some “real world” experience, I’ll be happy to let you know about our next scheduled seat check event in Detroit. 😉
Is it too far if I buckle the milk or coke into the Frontier and then text a picture of it (before driving!) to my carseat friends? I put my 12 pound Dachshund into a rearfacing convertible seat for a few trips (figured it was better crash tested than those questionable doggy boosters…no, she wasn’t IN the harness, just a dog harnessed buckled TO the harness ;))
Working retail really keeps it real for me. The rearfacing to 2 message seems to really be taking off with the really new moms (and involved grandparents, I’m happy to say). But I choose my audience very, very carefully before mentioning my girls RF to 3 and 4, and my kids in boosters till at least age 10. (And conversely, I can’t mention online that my not-quite-2-year old, 5 years ago, was FF in daddy’s car for about one 5-minute drive per month….)
Thanks, Kecia. Of course, we’d love to see kids rear-facing until they are 4 or 5 years old, or some squirmy ones kept in a 5-point harness until they are 7 or 8 years old. The reality is that most of the child restraints that have the highest limits are quite expensive. To tell a parent that their child is unsafe or in a deathtrap because they can’t replace a carseat they already own with a $200+ model may be counterproductive. The intention is good, but the delivery is not. It may result in the parent blocking all advice if they feel it is unrealistic for them. As you said, it also ignores the economic circumstances of a lot of families. Not to mention young, first time moms, who in taking this kind of advice would have to ignore the advice from their #1 source of trusted information: their own mom! (who may also be the one buying that carseat…) Besides, we know that simply driving unimpaired/undistracted, together with using an age appropriate child restraint in the back seat makes it safe for the child. Yes, there may be even safer options, but insisting on one of these to a parent depends a lot on the situation. That is something you can’t always gather from a quick online question at a blog, forum or facebook. Oh, and Kecia, do you hand out CPS flyers on Halloween? Enquiring minds want to know!
Well obviously the answer to #2 is to put the groceries *in* the carseats, lol. Sure, we go a bit crazy online with rf our kids until they start elementary school, but change doesn’t happen unless we have pioneers who push the envelope and show others that it can be done. OTOH, there are a lot of kids riding in garage sale seats with the harnesses knotted in the back that are way more prevalent than those rfers I mentioned earlier. We should always strive for best practice and remember that any kid we meet will leave us safer than when they met us.
I might be guilty of #3, but it’s a close contest. Only because I’ve bought so many seats for my own child, though. 😛
Well, I know we’ve had similar conversations before, and yes I’m a bit off in my own world of best practice. I guess my argument is that we don’t have to choose one or the other – I think we can serve the “yes, there are advantages to RFing at 4+ if the seat’s not outgrown” crowd just as well as the “no, you can’t hold the newborn in your lap” crowd. I know that’s not where the preponderance of the problem is, but my push is to maximize the protection for each kid individually. Just within the small community I serve, within the same week, I got the “get out of my face” reaction to suggesting a 13mo turn back RF, and then later in the week got a parent completely on-board to the point of ordering new seats (their idea, not mine) to turn a 30# 22mo back RF’d.
Anyway, I’m not suggesting that we need to short one end of the spectrum to serve the other – quite the opposite in fact, because when any parent comes to see a Tech, they leave believing they’ve gotten the 100% solution. Right now I just don’t believe that to be the case, and I think it should be.
(Again, I’m really not talking about anybody who reads CSO or CSB – I’m talking more the techs who just have to be because it’s a requirement of their job)
I frequently work seat events in my area and they really do keep you grounded to reality. I see soo many people nowadays altering reality to what is only seen online (rf to 4, harness forever, hbb until outgrown, etc) but that just doesn’t transfer out into the real person to person world. I’m thru the roof if a 2yo comes thru a check and is properly harnessed in a forward facing seat that is properly installed!!! Sadly I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. While I believe extended rear facing is important, I believe that people not practicing it is far from our real problem. Our real problem, and the reason collisions are the #1 killer of children is because people can’t even get the basics correct. The amount of unrestrained children is astounding. I could go on but I will step down from my soap box. I am thankful I don’t need an intervention but I will be happy to be someone’s sponsor
Thank you so much for this. It’s easy for those in the perfect little car seat world that exists online to forget or not understand what CPSTs in the “real world” have to deal with. The reality is big 3 year olds in boosters because there are no HWH seats and forward facing 1 and 2 year olds because the parents have no interest in rear facing. You’re lucky to get them in a seat at all.
AK Dad – If you’re still taking pics of her in RF seats when she’s a teenager then I’ll let you know that you’ve officially gone off the deep end. Lol!
That picture is priceless! Makes me a little embarrassed that I recently took a similar picture of my 90th percentile 5.5yo in a Radian and a Foonf, but not attempting to look ridiculous! 😀