Matt’s back. For your enjoyment 😉 .
Heather sends me this link to a story out of Alabama. 
Here is the link:
http://www.waff.com/Global/story.asp?S=11259745#
Go ahead. Click on the link and read the story. I’ll wait.
While I’m waiting, I’ll mention that there are more car seats in our house. These are not even for my kids. One of them is called the Orbit and it’s part of a system that includes a stroller. The car seat looks like a design out of the Soviet Union in the 1980s. The part on the back even looks like some sort of rocket nozzle. I think the point is that if there is a crash, the seat ignites and launches the child safely away from the vehicle, possibly to the moon. That’s why it’s called the Orbit. The entire system supposedly costs over $1,000. $1,000! Those silly Russians. But it’s always more expensive when they can call it a “system.” Oh, and the logo for the Orbit looks like a mother lovingly, and gently, reaching out and grabbing her child by the throat. Look at it.
Anyway, did you read the story? Crazy, isn’t it? You probably had the same initial thought I did. Silly Alabamans, it’s a wire “clothes” hanger, not a wire “close” hanger. I presume the typo came from the person writing the story, as the police officer likely would not have distinguished between “close” and “clothes” when he was speaking to the reporter. The words are similar and in some dialects nearly indistinguishable. Even if he clearly said “close” and not “clothes,” I, as the reporter, would have given him the benefit of the doubt and written “clothes” just so as not to make him look like, well, like he’s from Albertville, Alabama.
When I pointed this out to Heather, she said that she appreciated the error in the article, but claimed that the amusing and telling typo was not the primary reason she sent it to me. The main point, apparently, is that you should not use your teenager to secure a cardboard box on top of your car. Lumber, possibly, a refrigerator, probably, but not a cardboard box. That’s what husbands are for. Or dogs. Whichever.
It is encouraging to see that it is a crime in some places to use your teenaged child in such a manner. In many places it is still okay to put a kid in the back of a pickup truck as cargo, or let a kid ride in an inappropriate child seat, but we draw the line at actually requiring a kid to ride on the top of a vehicle. We’ve come so far.
Wow, I can’t believe that mother!
Anyway, about the Orbit …. we happen to have one of the $900 (close to $1000 but no) travel systems and we absolutely love it! I love that the system grows with your child. We started off with the base set, the infant seat, car seat base, and stroller base. It is so easy to get baby in and out of the car, and what’s even better is that we didn’t have to wake our little guy to move him from seat to stroller, as the car seat docks on the stroller base. Our son has now upgraded to the toddler seat, and baby #2 will be reusing the infant seat. Another great thing about the Orbit is all of the different pieces you can buy. We have the carriage, and we also have the rocking base, which you can place any of the seats and/or the carriage on, and it instantly turns into a cradle rocker. It may be pricey, but it is worth every dollar in my opinion. Can’t wait to read your review on the seat.
Ah, Matt. It’s always refreshing to have you around. Ever since poor Marvin went to the great fishbowl in the sky we’ve been a little light on the comedic commentary around here.
Is bashing Alabama really necessary? I mean, yes, that woman is a moron and the person writing the article is too, but this post is pretty rude.
ROFL……nothing like a bit o’sarcasm in the morning to wake me up….