Okay, obviously not true but all I could do at open house this evening was sing Pink Floyd in my head and think of random Kindergarten Cop quotes. And come home to write this.
Dear teachers,
I bow to you. I really do. As a mom who homeschooled and now is sending a kiddo to navigate the waters of school at his request, I don’t know how you do it. Teaching and corralling my own children is nerve wracking enough. I can’t imagine doing it with 20+ kids who aren’t even your own. Add the pressures of testing, teaching styles, grades, and various other controversial topics and I imagine your days are just full of stress.
Let me just tell you something. Something that you may already know, but maybe just need to hear it again.
I don’t really care how my kid scores on all these exams in the long run. I don’t care if he’s top in his class. I don’t care if he won a spelling bee or if he’s a faster or slower reader than other kids. If the way it’s being taught doesn’t work for him, then we will find another way. As long as he’s doing his very best and is happy, then right now that is enough for me.
What I do care about is that he is learning to love and respect others. I feel like I’ve been teaching this at home, but it can only go so far when your world consists of your family and friends. His world is about to get a whole lot bigger, and I need you to help him navigate it. You are there on the front lines with him. I need you to be his role model and his platoon leader.
Obviously there are lots of things going on lately that are hateful and confusing. I feel like especially right now our society has reached a critical point where we need to alter our direction of where we’ve been heading in regards to basic respect and courtesy. Kids may not know the details but I guarantee you they know the underlying feel of it. I’ll be damned if my child ever feels it’s okay to hurt or belittle another person for who they are. So please, help my child feel safe to stand up for what’s right. Help his classmates embrace him for who he is and him to embrace them for who they are, each individually. Help him to trust his “inside feeling” when something isn’t right. If a child is lonely, encourage him to find a way to help. If he is the lonely one, encourage another child to do the same for him.
This all starts at home, and I need you to help me continue it at school.
I don’t care how fast he can do a math worksheet or how neat his handwriting is. I care about whether he’s happy. I care about what things make him happy. I care about whether he loves others as he loves himself and that he loves himself as he loves others. I tell him to always help others because it is the right thing to do. To always have open arms. I need you to show him in action.
I’m sure this is redundant, and something you already do without question. Maybe I’m just writing this to reassure myself.
Thank you for teaching our kids math, handwriting, and all the other academic necessities that serve us well in life. But mostly thank you for training up our kids to be humans when they are with you. Good humans. Humane, kind, generous, strong humans who will steer humanity in the right direction. I could do it all by myself, but I’m choosing not to. I’m choosing not to because I feel like it takes a village, and our family extends beyond blood to the people around us that we share aspects of our life with.
From my hands to yours.
One of the hardest days was handing off my kids to their first day of kindergarten. What you say is so true about happiness and respect being more important to me as a parent than the academics. Five years later the teacher has asked us parents to tell her our goals for our child for this year. She may expect the answers to focus around academic goals. I really don’t know. But even now, mine will include things like happiness. Best wishes for your kindergarten year!
My kids all hate school and find it boring, and all are under grade 6. There is lots of yelling and inconsiderate behavior, yes, but it’s better than at home since the chaos is more controlled at school. 20 kids in a classroom makes for more control since it a public environment. At home they feel they can run wild and not listen. Mine would never even read a book with me, ever. They won’t sit still to do anything of the sort, even eat. At school, they have to sit at their desks and eat.