I’ve lived in a lot of areas of the country and one of the most interesting things I’ve found about different regions isn’t the weather or the natural wonders. It’s the culture of language.  I have heard so many awesome things come out of people’s mouths that I really wish I had started a journal of it a long time ago.

My grandparents and great grandparents on both sides were German immigrants, transplanted into the Midwest. I distinctly remember some of the phrases my grandma had. I’m not sure if they were Midwest things or just a “crazy German grandma” thing but I’ve carried a lot of them with me. Bugs weren’t called bugs, they were called millers. I could scream as a spider the size of my head crawled in front of me and my grandma would tsk tsk me and say, “Oh that’s just a miller” and proceed to dump some unknown and probably toxic/illegal substance from a jug under the sink on it. If I was excited, I was “pooping purple stars”. Speaking of poop, if you had diarrhea, you had the skitters. If us kids were being rowdy, we had better calm down and behave or someone was gonna put a knot in our tail.

I’ve lived in the South for awhile now and I’ll tell you that this place doesn’t disappoint if you’re looking for colorful phrases. Obviously we all know about our hearts being blessed. If someone with a monogrammed bag and a Simply Southern t-shirt blesses your heart, you’ve probably done something stupid. I had a bad bout of vertigo a few years ago and was called “Cooter Brown” multiple times. I finally looked it up and apparently Cooter Brown was a fictitious guy who lived on the Mason Dixon line and was always drunk and stumbling around so he wouldn’t get drafted during the Civil War. So I guess when I’m dizzy I resemble a draft dodging drunk guy.

You’re as ugly as the day is long. Something crooked is cattywampus. Oh and farts are real popular around here. When we don’t get rain it’s as dry as a popcorn fart. The daughter of a patient of mine referred to her father with dementia as being confused as a fart in a fan factory. You stink? You could knock a fly off a gut wagon. Not sure what a gut wagon is but I guess I don’t wanna be on one.

Here in NC you don’t ask for a soda or a pop. You ask for a coke. Doesn’t mean you want a Coke. There’s a difference. Besides, it better be a Cheerwine you’re after or you’re a sinner.

I never cease to be entertained. It’s also funny to hear some phrases I grew up saying come out of other people’s mouths and know it’s not just something I made up as a kid. CarSeatBlog is read by people from all over so I’d love to hear some phrases popular in your area! Every region is so different so please share!