Today is Guest Wednesday. Our first guest writer is Heather’s dh, Matt.

Me: Hello. My name is Matt. I am the husband of a Child Passenger Safety Technician.

Group: Hello, Matt.

Actually, it’s not that bad. There really is no need to join a twelve step program simply by virtue of being married to a CPST, though the status may have driven some to acquire habits best broken by joining such a group. There are benefits, of course, such as our car seats always being properly installed, or so I’m told. And our neighbors’ car seats are properly installed. And the people in the community whose car seats are not properly installed get dirty looks or snide comments or some sort of card on their windshield. When it’s the card, I try to make sure we leave the scene as quickly as possible. At least the kids are properly secured, unless one of them was inadvertently left behind in the haste to get away.

There are other downsides. There are car seats in my garage. There are car seats in my attic. There are often car seats in my living room. I believe there to be car seats in my car, though I am too afraid to touch them. We have owned or borrowed every conceivable type of car seat at one time or another. I try to put out of my mind what this costs. I also try not to trip over them when reaching for the weed whacker.

The car seats in our cars must be properly used at all times, and substitutes are strictly prohibited. My suggestion that a phone book would make a good booster seat was not appreciated. I was mostly kidding, though it sure would be easier when travelling just to get off the plane, rip a phone book off the chain at a pay phone and hit the car rental stand. The use of duct tape to affix a child to a seat is also strictly prohibited. That one I actually thought to be a good idea.

One day the kids will be big enough to sit in regular seats and use regular seat belts. When that happens, we may end up without any car seats in the house at all, and she will have to decide whether to continue with her car seat obsession. Whether that obsession can be broken remains to be seen, but I do have a suggestion for her:

Heather: Hello, my name is Heather. I’m a Child Passenger Safety Technician.

Group: Hello, Heather.